All of us ladies of child bearing age have probably either asked a friend or been asked… “could you be pregnant?” You know how it goes… you mention to a friend that you’re feeling nauseated and the immediate conclusion is that you may possibly be with child; not that the chicken you ate for lunch was bad.
Now, please understand that I’ve been asked this “could you be pregnant?” question by almost everyone I know a cumulative 157 million times since I got married almost 12 years ago. I’m not irritated with anyone at all and I need all of my friends and family to know that I am not singling anyone out… not even close. I’m sure I’ve asked the same question of people I’m close to as well.
The problem is that this is a very personal question. It’s a question that we would all be smart to never EVER ask anyone again.
I’ve heard it said that you never ask a woman if she is pregnant even if the baby is crowning. The idea is that assuming a woman is pregnant and then finding out she isn’t would be massively embarrassing. So true. Many of us can tell terribly humiliating stories of assuming someone was pregnant only to learn they were not… or having it assumed about us and then trying to decide between the embarrassment of admitting to not being pregnant or just making up a fake due-date and going along with it.
The problem with asking someone if they might be pregnant is that it is not your business and it puts the other person in an awkward situation.
In case you don’t get what the big deal is, I made a list of 12 things that someone will likely be thinking if you ask them if they think they’re pregnant:
“Yes, I am pregnant and I don’t want anyone to know yet. So thanks a lot for putting me in the position of having to lie to you right now.”
“No, I’m not pregnant. I’m on my period. Ask me another dumb question and I’ll smack you and steal all of your chocolate.”
“Oh man, I hope not!”
“If only I could get pregnant…”
“I’m not pregnant. Just like I wasn’t the other 53 times you asked me this month.”
“I would love to be since I lost my last three pregnancies… but no, I’m not and I wish I wasn’t thinking about this now.”
“Maybe I am! Need to get a pregnancy test now!”
“Not really possible since my hysterectomy… remember when you visited me and brought flowers after the surgery?”
“I’m 65 years old.”
“No. I’m just fat and feel nauseated at the moment. Thanks.”
“Unless this is another immaculate conception… nope.”
And very rarely…
“Yes! I am pregnant and I’ve been dying to tell you and I’m so glad you asked!!!”
To be safe, when someone tells you they feel really tired, have a headache, are really unusually hungry, are nauseated, or whatever… assume they need a vacation, a Zantac, or a good nights sleep and not that they must be pregnant and don’t know it yet.
Just some food for thought from a currently non-pregnant lady.