I wrote a Facebook rant. I’m not new to the good ole social media rant. But it is something I specifically avoid at all cost any more. Why? Because it’s too exhausting. It’s mentally draining to argue a point and quite frankly, I have better things to do these days. I can live with the satisfaction of being right, but I don’t have to argue that point to the world. Call it growing up.
But… I couldn’t take it. I had to rant…
And so began the “unlikes.” Apparently it is offensive to some people to ask them to stop showing me pictures of decapitated children. I understand that most people in the US sharing these pictures are not doing so to hurt anyone. They want to inform people; to shake us out of our apathy. I absolutely agree with the sentiment. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is dangerous.
Here’s the deal… I am extra sensitive these days; I’ll admit to that. As I’ve written on this blog, I lost a baby in November. I miscarried at 11 weeks. In case you haven’t been there… it’s a big deal. I delivered the baby at home in an excruciatingly painful natural miscarriage and had to flush the toilet (because I was scared and didn’t know how to process what was happening and didn’t know what else to do). A week later I ended up with a ranging infection that could have killed me. To say that my experiences were traumatizing would be accurate.
We all have pain. We all live through terrible things. We all process the pain in different ways. My processing the grief has made me very sensitive, easily depressed, and desperate for stability and calm in my life. Of course this year has offered me anything but stability and calm.
Now the world is on fire. Watching the news is a terrifying thing these days.
I don’t want to be this transparent. I don’t want to admit that seeing some of the most graphic images I’ve ever seen has affected me deeply and very negatively. Maybe I’m not calloused enough. Maybe I’ve been a raw, open wound walking around since I lost my baby in November. But maybe people need to think before they share. I don’t want the older children and teenagers who use Facebook to be bombarded with pictures of beheaded children and other horrendous images. I do not need to see these things. The news is almost more than I can bear to listen to right now.
I’m a Christian. I have a child. This literally makes me and my girl a target in this world today. And so I’m scared. I’m grieving. I’m begging God for mercy. I’m praying for God to protect my heart from the paralyzing fear that threatens to bring me to a dark place.
Are you a parent who is terrified for your children to be growing up in this world? Please join me and pray. There isn’t much else we can do. Pray and hold your babies, love them, and love each other.
Peace on earth, goodwill to men.
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